relationship

No one is an island. We are born attached, literally, umbilically, to our mother, and father, and siblings, genetically and emotionally. We then go out and create our own ties, making friends, joining organizations, forming families, weaving a social web work that comes to define who we are, or at least how people perceive we are. On the day we die, many would feel the greatest regret of their life is the failure to reconcile some of these relationships they have with others.

A Utopian Confucian society is one based on all the "proper" relationships–father and son, man and wife, ruler and subject, the old and the young–properly performed by all its members, facilitated by rites and rituals, motivated by everyone's original good heart of love and kindness. Easier said than done. When the original good doesn't come out original or good enough, society becomes disingenuous, rites and rituals turn into "man-eating decorum" (吃人的禮教), civilization loses luster. 

A smack of intimacy is detected in the word relationship, versus the word relation. That's probably why nations have "Foreign Relations" Department not "Foreign Relationship" Department, and she says she has "sexual relationship" with him while he says he does not have any "sexual relations" with that woman.

Essential as emotional attachment seems to be, some wiser guys choose to keep as little of it as possible. "The gentlemen's friendship is as bland as water (君子之交淡如水)," says Confucius. Some, like the hermits or the monks, go further, severing all ties with the world, their only remaining one being with nature or God. That's keeping it very simple, smart! I don't go extreme, but I think sometimes a proper break from a long stalemated relationship helps you see things clearer and move on better.

Perhaps the most precious, sought after relationship is the one prefixed with the adjective "personal". It is a relational super highway that cuts through all the hierarchical byways to get wherever you want–a special treatment, undivided attention, etc.–fast. Shouldn't/can't we make all relationships personal, then?

How you see your relationship with another tells how you know them and how they affect you. When Jesus asked his disciples "Who do you think I am," Peter hit the jackpot ("You are the Messiah!") and got the key to the gate to heaven, while others–like many still today–consider him just a prophet, a sage, or a great teacher, and don't get the magic a Savior endows the saved ones with.
 
Much has been said about virtual relationships in today's info-media world: Facebook friends, Twitter followers, celebrity groupies... But I say all relationships are virtual, for the simple fact that no two persons can be physically close by 24/7, so we all have to rely on thoughts and prayers, memories and imaginations, to keep the connection going in our mind, with all those we cross paths with in life, short or long, near or far, dead or alive.

That's why relationship never dies.