neighbors

My next door neighbor of 21 years just disappeared out of thin air.

Starting a few months ago, I commented to my wife one day that I haven't seen a shadow of our nice fellow neighbor Kent (Mr. Chubby, as my wife likes to nick-name him) or his wife around their backyard or house front for quite a while. She said she noticed the same and felt strange too. Maybe they are on a long vacation, we thought. But then another month passed, and there was still no signs of Mr. & Mrs. C. in or around their house. So one day I walked up my backyard slope and took a peek at their backyard. What I saw surprised me: the swimming pool was totally drained, and some weeds were coming out around the yard. The next day I walked up to their front door, the front yard lawn was pretty much browned out, which up to that moment I thought was because they were conserving water usage like everyone else here, maybe more extreme than others, per the water district's instruction, but then when I peeked into their front window after ringing the door bell and no one answered, I was surprised again, the room was all empty, all furniture were gone, only the curtains were left hanging. Mr & Mrs. C were indeed gone.

Looking back, for all those 21 years, all I know about Mr. C was he used to work for McDonnell Douglas, the big defense company that later got merged with Boeing, before he retired from the job and moved into this house, and started running a chemical storage monitoring business of his own. He invited me once into his house, showing the nice stone floor, living room cabinets that he built himself. He took care of his yard meticulously and once suggested (and I did) use the same gardener he used who was much more expensive but did a fine job for him (not for me though, in my opinion, so I fired him later). We also used the same pool service man for quite a few years. I also remember once he commented the smell of the barbeque we had at our backyard party was very tempting, so the next day I barbequed some for him and handed it over the backyard fence to him and his wife and they were flattered..

Other than that, it was just occasional hellos and waves and smiles when we happened to see each other while picking up mails or pulling our cars in or out of the driveways, the standard friendly but superficial howdys of suburban USA.

Still, it feels sad to see (or not see) a neighbor of 21 years disappear without a trace like this. To think, how many people have I lived next door to for over 21 years in my life? Not too many. In a way it feels like a part of my personal history was taken away all of a sudden.

Then I think of my other neighbors: The one across the street right opposite to our house. They have been here as long as we did, as the original home owners of this housing tract, for 23 years. What do I know about them? Even less than I know about Mr. & Mrs. C. For one thing, I don't even know their names. All I know is they have 3 kids that were all born after we moved here and now they are all grown up. And the other next door neighbor, they are probably the 3rd or 4th owner of the house, a middle-aged couple, that I once heard the husband is a school principal and I actually bought a book from him when they had a garage sale a couple years ago, with very little exchange of words, though.

So I told my wife it's time we got to know our neighbors better: Let's invite them over for a little backyard barbeque, say, over the Labor Day weekend? She used to drag her feet on proposals like this, due to her discomfort or unfounded fear of socializing with Caucasian people in pure English environment, but this time she agreed.

So I went over to my neighbors to give out the invitation. You should see the look of their face when I knocked on their door and they appeared. They all looked puzzled at first, as if wondering if they had done something wrong that I came over to report and discuss with. Once they heard my intention, though, they all relaxed and gladly accepted my invitation and asked if they need to bring anything.. I got their first names and phone numbers and even stepped into their houses for the first time.

     

On Sunday evening they appeared on time. Though I told them no need to bring anything, the couple next door, Joel and Paula, brought a small vase of roses picked from their own rose garden which I can see from my backyard every day. The couple across the street, Kent and Kathy, didn't come with their kids as we would like them to--the two boys were at a camp and the teen-age daughter had her own holiday plan. They toured a little of our living room and then went outside to the yard where I was finishing up my cooking at the barbeque island and sat and chatted with each other at the patio. We then ate--my wife prepared some salad (I didn't know she can make good tasty salad as she can cook good Chinese) and chow-mein and I barbequed some pre-marinated beef short ribs we bought at a Korean supermarket--and chatted under the beautiful pre-dusk sky. It turns out Joel is an elementary school principal in a neighboring city, and Kathy teaches at an elementary school just nearby our neighborhood, and Paula (Joel's wife, a retired educator herself) knew Kathy already through work but probably never gets to know each other socially like today. Kent, who me and my wife suspect is Kathy's new husband, used to work for Nortel but is now out of work, and is considering changing career path to culinary and gardening where his true passions lie..

We went inside for dessert after the meal and continued our conversation in the dining room. We talked about parental care (Joel is from Chico, a Northern California town where his 91-year-old Dad is still living in his own farm), children's education (Kathy's two boys are both computer wizards but are going to local community college and have to pay their own tuition unless they meet the grade standard Kathy sets, her 3rd kid Melanie is turning out to be a mature young woman and is considering going to medical school after high school; Joel & Paula have two grown-up sons, one is managing a restaurant business in San Francisco and the other pursuing an art career in LA), our jobs ("What's the biggest headache for an elementary school principal," I asked Joel, "The parents," he said, with a grin), and our missing neighbors (yes, everyone notices their disappearance, and according to Kathy who heard it from another neighbor, Mr. C used his house to finance a new business venture in Hawaii that went south, and as a result lost their house; they were too embarrassed to let everyone else know when they moved).

They left around 8:30. It was a pleasant little 3 hour "getting-to-know-you" party with our neighbors after living here for 23 years, finally. But better late than never, as they say. And now my wife says we should invite Kathy's 3 nice kids to dinner someday..

computers

What are computers?

Computers are like women because... 
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
.
.
.

Computers are like men because... 
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer you could have had a better model.

They hear what you say, but not what you mean.

real real

Joel Stein is one satirical writer whose columns appeared on the LA Times until the newspaper's recent cutback, and now he writes for TIME magazine on occasion. One recent column there was about his experience as a one-off comedian at Saddleback Church's Improv Program: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1910981,00.html

As typical with his style of writing, he uses his sharp tongue and quick wit to make cynical comments and poke fun at his subject of ridicule, which, in this instance, is the simpleton evangelical Christians whose lack of real-world knowledge and sophistication makes them seem gullible, unfun, and borderline dumb.

I once heard someone say that it takes a simple mind to believe in Christianity, and that's probably why America as a country has the highest percentage of Christian population among the industrialized nations, for Americans are mostly simple minded people.

Yep, that's why the much secularized Europeans and some high-brow intellectuals look down on the religious prudes here with sneers because they think they know better than the latter about the real world out there.  

Do they?

Here is what A. W. Tozer (1897-1963) has to say on the subject of what is really real and what is not in his book "The Pursuit of God":

There are those who love to poke fun at the plain man's idea of reality. They are the idealists who spin endless proofs that nothing is real outside of the mind. They are the relativists who like to show that there are no fixed points in the universe from which we can measure anything. They smile down upon us from their lofty intellectual peaks and settle us to their own satisfaction by fastening upon us the reproachful term 'absolutist.'  The Christian is not put out of countenance by this show of contempt. He can smile right back at them, for he knows that there is only One who is Absolute, that is God. But he knows also that the Absolute One has made this world for man's uses, and, while there is nothing fixed or real in the last meaning of the words (the meaning as applied to God), for every purpose of human life we are permitted to act as if there were. And every man does act thus except the mentally sick. These unfortunates also have trouble with reality, but they are consistent; they insist upon living in accordance with their ideas of things. They are honest, and it is their very honesty that constitutes them a social problem.

The idealists and relativists are not mentally sick. They prove their soundness by living their lives according to the very notions of reality which they in theory repudiate and by counting upon the very fixed points which they prove are not there. They could earn a lot more respect for their notions if they were willing to live by them; but this they are careful not to do. Their ideas are brain-deep, not life-deep. Wherever life touches them they repudiate their theories and live like other men.

The sincere plain man knows that the world is real. He finds it here when he wakes to consciousness, and he knows that he did not think it into being. It was here waiting for him when he came, and he knows that when he prepares to leave this earthly scene it will be here still to bid him good-bye as he departs. By the deep wisdom of life he is wiser than a thousand men who doubt.

He hears the sounds of nature and the cries of human joy and pain. These he knows are real. He lies down on the cool earth at night and has no fear that it will prove illusory or fail him while he sleeps. In the morning the firm ground will be under him, the blue sky above him and the rocks and trees around him as when he closed his eyes the night before. So he lives and rejoices in a world of reality.

I think it all comes down to that tree-of-knowledge vs tree-of-life analogy, Mr. know-it-all vs the down-to-earther, the forever-seeker vs the stickler, the prideful vs the grateful, that live within everyone of us every day.

May the latter overcome the former day by day.

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the only probable explanation is that I was made for another world." -- C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity 

kid writings

We grew up hearing our teachers/parents lamenting about our ever decreasing language proficiency (especially the written one) level, and now we say the same thing about our next generation. The following are some fun examples from Chinese class teachers in Taiwan that demonstrate the "miserable" state of their students' Chinese writing..

第一位國中國文 老師的告白我是個國中的國文老師，生平最痛苦的事情就是改作文!!

字醜就算了，還會自己學倉頡創字!!
創字就算了，還會用自己奇怪的邏輯寫句子!!
每次都改到哭笑不得 ........

========================================================

１、元旦時，我們全家一起到歷史博物館參觀「冰馬桶」…

（兵馬俑）

２、早上起床整裡「遺容」後，我們到學校集合，搭車前往墾丁畢業旅行。

〈儀容〉

３、昨晚左眼皮跳個不停，當時就覺得那是「胸罩」，果然今天皮夾被扒走了！（凶兆）

４、報上說重金屬污染過的牡蠣，可「治」癌…

（致癌）

 5 、逛完花市後，我花錢買下「賤男」，準備帶回家過年。
(劍蘭)

  6 、我認為自己是個品學兼「憂」的好學生…（優）

========================================================

這次出的作文題目是：美食與我
我非常沾沾自喜，相當期待這麼生活化又簡單的題目，
一定能讓他們發揮的淋漓盡致，
可以減輕我每次改作文到快往生的噩運！

沒想到我錯了！！！
這些天兵天將們每個都是未來的棟樑？？？

節錄一些下來：

1.我最喜歡吃的食物是生魚片，唯一美中不足的是，他總是沒煮熟。

2.我最喜歡吃的美食是青菜，青菜中最喜歡吃的美食是白菜，為什麼喜歡吃白菜呢？因為他是青菜的一種

3.我最喜歡吃外婆煮的菜，裡面包含了很多愛心，但是萬一外婆死了我就吃不到了，所以我要趁外婆還活著的時候，叫他每天煮三餐給我吃。

4.我最喜歡吃那種在外面跑的雞肉

5.媽媽很厲害，他下廚以後，可以把一顆蛋變成一顆荷包蛋

6.我最喜歡吃媽媽煮的菜，跟外面賣的差的可遠呢！

7.世界上美食很多，其中我最喜歡吃的外國料理是台南擔仔麵

 

換小學老師了：

1。題目：其中

小朋友寫：我的其中一只左腳受傷了。

2。題目：陸陸續續

小朋友寫：下班了，爸爸陸陸續續的回家了。

3。題目：又又

小朋友寫：我的媽媽又矮又高又胖又瘦。

4。題目：欣欣向榮

小朋友寫：欣欣向榮榮告白。

5。題目：天真

小朋友寫：今天真熱。

6。題目：果然

小朋友寫：昨天我吃水果 , 然後喝涼水。

7。題目：先……再……，例題：先吃飯，再冼澡。

小朋友寫：先生，再見！

8。題目：況且

小朋友寫：一列火車經過，況且況且況且況且況且況.....

Don't you love these creative kids !:)

* 有一位女子，開出的徵友條件有兩點
1.要帥
2.要有車 電腦去幫她搜尋的結果~~~~~~~
~
~
~~~~~~~~~~~~象棋 　　

greatest love of all

One evening at a small group gathering, a mother shared with us that she was giving advice to her two college age sons, that one key personality trait to look for when seeking their future soulmate should be "unselfishness," and one of her kids responded, "but Mom, that would be very difficult..".. "Do you know, we are taught to be selfish in this society."

That's quite a profound statement from a quite young man. I was impressed. 

It's easy to say that we live in the most self-gratifying, narcissistic society in human history--just look at all the "you deserve it" ads, be it a new car, a vacation, or a tasty food.. you'd wonder how we constantly battle this commercial-industrial beast that keeps luring us to go out and consume things it makes "for our own good.."

Rather than calling people "selfish," I'll say people are "self-conscious," or "self-centered" by nature. This explains why we feel shy, get embarrassed, or here's an interesting psycho analysis piece I once heard: "In a social gathering where everyone is new, you nervously think everyone else is watching what you say or do, but the truth of the matter is everyone else is all so concerned about what others think of them that the only person who really cares about what you say or do is yourself."  

In that light, people are actually cute exactly because they are so self-centered.

Another observation:

We all like to be complimented, yet we all dare not--or nobody in their right mind would--compliment ourselves. The compliments have to come from others, and they'd better be genuine, otherwise we won't be real happy either.

It seems after so much touted "self-esteem" education, we still long for every bit of recognition and appreciation from our fellow men and women.

Truth be told, by the same nature that we are made to be selfish, we are also made to need one another--for the need of getting appreciation from others, and the need of sharing what we have with others--to make us feel more complete. I remember the documentary movie "Into the Wild" where the young, idealistic lone man traveled all over the country searching for true living but ended up losing his life tragically in the Alaskan wild, wrote down on his notebook the final truth he realized: "Happiness real only when shared." 

Now I can vaguely remember, when I was little, the thought of living all by myself scared me to death--what a sad, lonely state that would be. I also remember I was disturbed when I first saw the sentence "everybody feels lonely sometimes," because it sounded so sad to me. 

But now I don't have those feelings any more--not only can I live and work by myself well, I can even say, as many others do, that I enjoy my time alone quite much.

Sign of maturity, maybe. But, deep down inside, I still wonder if this is a learned temperament molded by the strictures of the environments I went through life with. 

I also recall this saying: "One needs to find his true self first, so he can then voluntarily give it up, and work for the greater good."

I agree with that, except I think sometimes it's really hard to separate the process of finding one's true self from the process of working for the greater good. As a matter of fact, I am almost positive that one needs to have that greater good identified first before he can go out and  find his true little self.

Years ago there was a popular song titled "The Greatest Love of All." The lyrics talks about searching for a hero/role model since childhood but couldn't find one, until finally she realizes she has to depend on herself alone and, "The greatest love of all.. is easy to achieve.. Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all." This is in line with the mainstream mottoes "You are the greatest,"  "You can be anything you want to be," so prevalent in our society they sound like commercial sound bites. Not that such motivational jingles are totally wrong per se, but I just wonder one day when the kids find out that deep down they are not that great, that they just cannot always be what they want to be, no matter how hard they try, do they have a fallback plan? i.e., do they have something bigger than themselves they can admit their limitations to and draw new strength from?

I think that young man mentioned at the beginning of this writing could have.

city run

The city I live in, Laguna Hills, holds a yearly half-marathon and 5K run event on Memorial Day weekend over the past 10 years. I thought about participating in it a few times but never did. I finally did it this year: On the Sunday before the Memorial Monday, I went to the Laguna Hills Mall, where at the center court they had stands set up for the event's last minute registration. I filled out the application, paid the fee ($28), got the packet (a T-shirt, the "bib" and the electronic tag, some flyers and coupons), and went home.

The next morning, I woke up early and drove to Laguna Hills Mall, where the run was scheduled to start at 7:30 AM. It was a little before 7 AM, but plenty of cars and a crowd were gathering already at the mall's parking lot and the street nearby where the run would start, in a festive mood. Since this was my first time here (for the life of me, the only other time I had participated in an event like this was a few years back in Taipei city when I happened to be there and they happened to have a multi-national company sponsored half-marathon and 3K event with the city), I checked if my bib was pinned at the right place (it should be at the front side of the shirt, not the back), and if I were wearing the tracking tag correctly (circled underneath the shoe lace) like everyone else. Then I joined the crowd, waited behind the start line while stretching my limbs a bit for warm-up. I got my bib number at 2595, and I saw some people wearing 3-digit bib numbers, so I guessed there must be a couple thousand people registered for this event. As for the crowd's makeup, it's quite a toss-up: men and women, young and old, teens in team, kids with parents, boys with girl friends, mothers with babies in strollers.. athletic looking and weight challenged.. a lively sample of people of all kinds living here. (Not many Asians, though).

Then the time came, and after a short speech and a Memorial Day observance, the march started. Because of the crowd size, the start line stretched about 100 yards long, and I was at about the latter third of it. It was slow moving in the beginning, but pretty soon it spanned out, and everyone had plenty of room to move about (the thing I remember most about the Taipei run was the crowd was so dense from beginning till end I had no way of maneuvering during the whole run).

Right after we left the mall, we ran inside the city of Laguna Woods, the gated retirement community where youngsters like me are not allowed to enter, except today, and they even had amicable residents lining up on the curb cheering us on, and water stands where they handed you the water and you drank and then threw the cups away, just like the professionals did on TV. I took a few looks at the community, feeling pleasure and ease in the morning cool, and checked out a few of my fellow runners as I passed them by. I noticed many, especially the younger ones, were wearing their iPod earphones, probably the same way they did with their regular jogging. I also saw one woman running with a cell phone on a holster, must be quite serious about keeping in touch with people while on the run.

We came out of Laguna Woods after traversing a few blocks there and got back on the Laguna Hills city street Paseo de Valencia, where the police had cordoned it off so no cars could be on it except we runners. It came to my mind that I drive my car on this road almost daily, but this is the first time ever I had my feet solidly on the asphalt ground. That feels great.

From here on, we were working on our last one K of the run (an official stood at the checkpoint and announced the elapsed time to every passing runner). Now here we had a little uphill slope to overcome, which again in car you wouldn't feel a thing, but on feet the law of gravity did pull a drag on you. No big deal, I told myself, I exercise on my treadmill everyday with the maximum grade setting, just hang in there and it will pass in no time.

And in no time it did pass, and now I was trotting downhill, and I could see the end clearly, right at the corner of Valencia and Alicia Pkwy, where I just needed to turn right and then into the entrance of the community center where the run would end. Up till now, I had not thought about running for a ranking--all I wanted was to have some fun doing this--but now I recalled I seemed to have passed quite a few runners along the way, and as I looked up, I could see there were only about 50 people ahead of me.. so, who knew, maybe I'd got some chance of getting some good ranking (they pick the top 3 runners of each age group for awards) out of this. So I began to guard my place, tried passing a few more runners when I could.. Whoa, right before I turned the corner, a tall white guy sped past me.. A few seconds later, a young woman with her stroller whizzed right by me too.. Admirable last minute sprinters, I said to myself.. Seconds later, I turned into the community center entrance, and I saw a big timer panel flashing 27 minute something. I had made it!

There were a few booths and stands at the end line reception area, most touting sports related products and services. I was a bit exhausted, so I spared no time there and took the shuttle back to the mall, found my car, and drove home. It was not even past 9 AM, my wife was still sleeping. I took a shower, had my coffee, and felt never better before!

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A few after-words:

* I got the run's result a couple days later from the event's web site (see attached). It turns out there were a total of 1028 people participating in the run, and I was ranked 298th over all, 202th among all male runners, and 17th in my age group (50-54 years old). The number one runner finished with 15:43, (and I with 27:46), and there are many others in the below 20 minutes range. These "professional grade" runners probably zipped through the race long before I even had a chance to see their backs. Talk about "short-sightedness," those 50 or so people I saw in front of me before the finish line were only those a couple minutes ahead of me!

* I felt so great about the run I joined another 5K run within the same week, this time the Saddleback Community 5K Run sponsored by Saddleback Church, on Saturday. It was a much smaller crowd (about 200 runners, by my estimate), but as fun, or even more so, than the Laguna Hills': It had better after-the-run hosting--more free refreshments: cookies, yogurt, fruits, juice, coffee, and a gift raffle, and this time I did win a 3rd place award within my age group (pictures attached), due to the smaller participant pool!

Come join the fun next year!

dogs

Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friends:

Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
Dogs don't shop.
No dog ever bought a Kenny G album.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that sometimes you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
Dogs don't worry about germs.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
Dogs never want foot-rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

I like that "Dogs think you sing great." :)
What's your favorite?

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This email serves as a reminder of a bi-weekly (1st and 3rd Saturdays of the month) men's group fellowship meeting, which usually takes place at my home in Laguna Hills. However, this Saturday we'll have a minor change of venue: Instead of meeting at my home, we will go out to a motel in Anaheim, serving breakfast to the people in need there, along with some Saddleback Church members. Please feel free to join us if your heart desires and schedule permits:  

Time: 8:30-11:30 AM
Place: Evergreen Royalle Motel, 1919 E Center St, Anaheim, CA 92805

You can find the map for the motel here:

http://www.google.com/calendar/event?action=VIEW&eid=cWF1OTU0cTdkc3RzOGluOXBuOXZlazhvNWcgZHNsaWFvODg4QGNveC5uZXQ&tok=MjUjaXJ2aW5lLm91dHJlYWNoQGdtYWlsLmNvbWViNGU4ZDg1Yjc5NzAzMDViYjRhYzRkODA1NDJmYWY2ZjFhNWM4MDE&ctz=America%2FLos_Angeles&hl=en