kid writings

We grew up hearing our teachers/parents lamenting about our ever decreasing language proficiency (especially the written one) level, and now we say the same thing about our next generation. The following are some fun examples from Chinese class teachers in Taiwan that demonstrate the "miserable" state of their students' Chinese writing..

第一位國中國文 老師的告白我是個國中的國文老師，生平最痛苦的事情就是改作文!!

字醜就算了，還會自己學倉頡創字!!
創字就算了，還會用自己奇怪的邏輯寫句子!!
每次都改到哭笑不得 ........

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１、元旦時，我們全家一起到歷史博物館參觀「冰馬桶」…

（兵馬俑）

２、早上起床整裡「遺容」後，我們到學校集合，搭車前往墾丁畢業旅行。

〈儀容〉

３、昨晚左眼皮跳個不停，當時就覺得那是「胸罩」，果然今天皮夾被扒走了！（凶兆）

４、報上說重金屬污染過的牡蠣，可「治」癌…

（致癌）

 5 、逛完花市後，我花錢買下「賤男」，準備帶回家過年。
(劍蘭)

  6 、我認為自己是個品學兼「憂」的好學生…（優）

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這次出的作文題目是：美食與我
我非常沾沾自喜，相當期待這麼生活化又簡單的題目，
一定能讓他們發揮的淋漓盡致，
可以減輕我每次改作文到快往生的噩運！

沒想到我錯了！！！
這些天兵天將們每個都是未來的棟樑？？？

節錄一些下來：

1.我最喜歡吃的食物是生魚片，唯一美中不足的是，他總是沒煮熟。

2.我最喜歡吃的美食是青菜，青菜中最喜歡吃的美食是白菜，為什麼喜歡吃白菜呢？因為他是青菜的一種

3.我最喜歡吃外婆煮的菜，裡面包含了很多愛心，但是萬一外婆死了我就吃不到了，所以我要趁外婆還活著的時候，叫他每天煮三餐給我吃。

4.我最喜歡吃那種在外面跑的雞肉

5.媽媽很厲害，他下廚以後，可以把一顆蛋變成一顆荷包蛋

6.我最喜歡吃媽媽煮的菜，跟外面賣的差的可遠呢！

7.世界上美食很多，其中我最喜歡吃的外國料理是台南擔仔麵

 

換小學老師了：

1。題目：其中

小朋友寫：我的其中一只左腳受傷了。

2。題目：陸陸續續

小朋友寫：下班了，爸爸陸陸續續的回家了。

3。題目：又又

小朋友寫：我的媽媽又矮又高又胖又瘦。

4。題目：欣欣向榮

小朋友寫：欣欣向榮榮告白。

5。題目：天真

小朋友寫：今天真熱。

6。題目：果然

小朋友寫：昨天我吃水果 , 然後喝涼水。

7。題目：先……再……，例題：先吃飯，再冼澡。

小朋友寫：先生，再見！

8。題目：況且

小朋友寫：一列火車經過，況且況且況且況且況且況.....

Don't you love these creative kids !:)

* 有一位女子，開出的徵友條件有兩點
1.要帥
2.要有車 電腦去幫她搜尋的結果~~~~~~~
~
~
~~~~~~~~~~~~象棋 　　

greatest love of all

One evening at a small group gathering, a mother shared with us that she was giving advice to her two college age sons, that one key personality trait to look for when seeking their future soulmate should be "unselfishness," and one of her kids responded, "but Mom, that would be very difficult..".. "Do you know, we are taught to be selfish in this society."

That's quite a profound statement from a quite young man. I was impressed. 

It's easy to say that we live in the most self-gratifying, narcissistic society in human history--just look at all the "you deserve it" ads, be it a new car, a vacation, or a tasty food.. you'd wonder how we constantly battle this commercial-industrial beast that keeps luring us to go out and consume things it makes "for our own good.."

Rather than calling people "selfish," I'll say people are "self-conscious," or "self-centered" by nature. This explains why we feel shy, get embarrassed, or here's an interesting psycho analysis piece I once heard: "In a social gathering where everyone is new, you nervously think everyone else is watching what you say or do, but the truth of the matter is everyone else is all so concerned about what others think of them that the only person who really cares about what you say or do is yourself."  

In that light, people are actually cute exactly because they are so self-centered.

Another observation:

We all like to be complimented, yet we all dare not--or nobody in their right mind would--compliment ourselves. The compliments have to come from others, and they'd better be genuine, otherwise we won't be real happy either.

It seems after so much touted "self-esteem" education, we still long for every bit of recognition and appreciation from our fellow men and women.

Truth be told, by the same nature that we are made to be selfish, we are also made to need one another--for the need of getting appreciation from others, and the need of sharing what we have with others--to make us feel more complete. I remember the documentary movie "Into the Wild" where the young, idealistic lone man traveled all over the country searching for true living but ended up losing his life tragically in the Alaskan wild, wrote down on his notebook the final truth he realized: "Happiness real only when shared." 

Now I can vaguely remember, when I was little, the thought of living all by myself scared me to death--what a sad, lonely state that would be. I also remember I was disturbed when I first saw the sentence "everybody feels lonely sometimes," because it sounded so sad to me. 

But now I don't have those feelings any more--not only can I live and work by myself well, I can even say, as many others do, that I enjoy my time alone quite much.

Sign of maturity, maybe. But, deep down inside, I still wonder if this is a learned temperament molded by the strictures of the environments I went through life with. 

I also recall this saying: "One needs to find his true self first, so he can then voluntarily give it up, and work for the greater good."

I agree with that, except I think sometimes it's really hard to separate the process of finding one's true self from the process of working for the greater good. As a matter of fact, I am almost positive that one needs to have that greater good identified first before he can go out and  find his true little self.

Years ago there was a popular song titled "The Greatest Love of All." The lyrics talks about searching for a hero/role model since childhood but couldn't find one, until finally she realizes she has to depend on herself alone and, "The greatest love of all.. is easy to achieve.. Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all." This is in line with the mainstream mottoes "You are the greatest,"  "You can be anything you want to be," so prevalent in our society they sound like commercial sound bites. Not that such motivational jingles are totally wrong per se, but I just wonder one day when the kids find out that deep down they are not that great, that they just cannot always be what they want to be, no matter how hard they try, do they have a fallback plan? i.e., do they have something bigger than themselves they can admit their limitations to and draw new strength from?

I think that young man mentioned at the beginning of this writing could have.

city run

The city I live in, Laguna Hills, holds a yearly half-marathon and 5K run event on Memorial Day weekend over the past 10 years. I thought about participating in it a few times but never did. I finally did it this year: On the Sunday before the Memorial Monday, I went to the Laguna Hills Mall, where at the center court they had stands set up for the event's last minute registration. I filled out the application, paid the fee ($28), got the packet (a T-shirt, the "bib" and the electronic tag, some flyers and coupons), and went home.

The next morning, I woke up early and drove to Laguna Hills Mall, where the run was scheduled to start at 7:30 AM. It was a little before 7 AM, but plenty of cars and a crowd were gathering already at the mall's parking lot and the street nearby where the run would start, in a festive mood. Since this was my first time here (for the life of me, the only other time I had participated in an event like this was a few years back in Taipei city when I happened to be there and they happened to have a multi-national company sponsored half-marathon and 3K event with the city), I checked if my bib was pinned at the right place (it should be at the front side of the shirt, not the back), and if I were wearing the tracking tag correctly (circled underneath the shoe lace) like everyone else. Then I joined the crowd, waited behind the start line while stretching my limbs a bit for warm-up. I got my bib number at 2595, and I saw some people wearing 3-digit bib numbers, so I guessed there must be a couple thousand people registered for this event. As for the crowd's makeup, it's quite a toss-up: men and women, young and old, teens in team, kids with parents, boys with girl friends, mothers with babies in strollers.. athletic looking and weight challenged.. a lively sample of people of all kinds living here. (Not many Asians, though).

Then the time came, and after a short speech and a Memorial Day observance, the march started. Because of the crowd size, the start line stretched about 100 yards long, and I was at about the latter third of it. It was slow moving in the beginning, but pretty soon it spanned out, and everyone had plenty of room to move about (the thing I remember most about the Taipei run was the crowd was so dense from beginning till end I had no way of maneuvering during the whole run).

Right after we left the mall, we ran inside the city of Laguna Woods, the gated retirement community where youngsters like me are not allowed to enter, except today, and they even had amicable residents lining up on the curb cheering us on, and water stands where they handed you the water and you drank and then threw the cups away, just like the professionals did on TV. I took a few looks at the community, feeling pleasure and ease in the morning cool, and checked out a few of my fellow runners as I passed them by. I noticed many, especially the younger ones, were wearing their iPod earphones, probably the same way they did with their regular jogging. I also saw one woman running with a cell phone on a holster, must be quite serious about keeping in touch with people while on the run.

We came out of Laguna Woods after traversing a few blocks there and got back on the Laguna Hills city street Paseo de Valencia, where the police had cordoned it off so no cars could be on it except we runners. It came to my mind that I drive my car on this road almost daily, but this is the first time ever I had my feet solidly on the asphalt ground. That feels great.

From here on, we were working on our last one K of the run (an official stood at the checkpoint and announced the elapsed time to every passing runner). Now here we had a little uphill slope to overcome, which again in car you wouldn't feel a thing, but on feet the law of gravity did pull a drag on you. No big deal, I told myself, I exercise on my treadmill everyday with the maximum grade setting, just hang in there and it will pass in no time.

And in no time it did pass, and now I was trotting downhill, and I could see the end clearly, right at the corner of Valencia and Alicia Pkwy, where I just needed to turn right and then into the entrance of the community center where the run would end. Up till now, I had not thought about running for a ranking--all I wanted was to have some fun doing this--but now I recalled I seemed to have passed quite a few runners along the way, and as I looked up, I could see there were only about 50 people ahead of me.. so, who knew, maybe I'd got some chance of getting some good ranking (they pick the top 3 runners of each age group for awards) out of this. So I began to guard my place, tried passing a few more runners when I could.. Whoa, right before I turned the corner, a tall white guy sped past me.. A few seconds later, a young woman with her stroller whizzed right by me too.. Admirable last minute sprinters, I said to myself.. Seconds later, I turned into the community center entrance, and I saw a big timer panel flashing 27 minute something. I had made it!

There were a few booths and stands at the end line reception area, most touting sports related products and services. I was a bit exhausted, so I spared no time there and took the shuttle back to the mall, found my car, and drove home. It was not even past 9 AM, my wife was still sleeping. I took a shower, had my coffee, and felt never better before!

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A few after-words:

* I got the run's result a couple days later from the event's web site (see attached). It turns out there were a total of 1028 people participating in the run, and I was ranked 298th over all, 202th among all male runners, and 17th in my age group (50-54 years old). The number one runner finished with 15:43, (and I with 27:46), and there are many others in the below 20 minutes range. These "professional grade" runners probably zipped through the race long before I even had a chance to see their backs. Talk about "short-sightedness," those 50 or so people I saw in front of me before the finish line were only those a couple minutes ahead of me!

* I felt so great about the run I joined another 5K run within the same week, this time the Saddleback Community 5K Run sponsored by Saddleback Church, on Saturday. It was a much smaller crowd (about 200 runners, by my estimate), but as fun, or even more so, than the Laguna Hills': It had better after-the-run hosting--more free refreshments: cookies, yogurt, fruits, juice, coffee, and a gift raffle, and this time I did win a 3rd place award within my age group (pictures attached), due to the smaller participant pool!

Come join the fun next year!

dogs

Why Dogs Are Man's Best Friends:

Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.
Dogs think you sing great.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.
The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.
Dogs are excited by rough play.
Dogs understand that farts are funny.
Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
Anyone can get a good-looking dog.
If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
A dog's parents never visit.
Dogs love long car trips.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.
Dogs like beer.
Dogs don't cry.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
Dogs don't shop.
No dog ever bought a Kenny G album.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that sometimes you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
Dogs never expect gifts.
Dogs don't worry about germs.
Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.
Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.
Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.
Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.
Dogs don't borrow your shirts.
Dogs never want foot-rubs.
Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.
Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

I like that "Dogs think you sing great." :)
What's your favorite?

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This email serves as a reminder of a bi-weekly (1st and 3rd Saturdays of the month) men's group fellowship meeting, which usually takes place at my home in Laguna Hills. However, this Saturday we'll have a minor change of venue: Instead of meeting at my home, we will go out to a motel in Anaheim, serving breakfast to the people in need there, along with some Saddleback Church members. Please feel free to join us if your heart desires and schedule permits:  

Time: 8:30-11:30 AM
Place: Evergreen Royalle Motel, 1919 E Center St, Anaheim, CA 92805

You can find the map for the motel here:

http://www.google.com/calendar/event?action=VIEW&eid=cWF1OTU0cTdkc3RzOGluOXBuOXZlazhvNWcgZHNsaWFvODg4QGNveC5uZXQ&tok=MjUjaXJ2aW5lLm91dHJlYWNoQGdtYWlsLmNvbWViNGU4ZDg1Yjc5NzAzMDViYjRhYzRkODA1NDJmYWY2ZjFhNWM4MDE&ctz=America%2FLos_Angeles&hl=en

easter

Right next to Christmas, Easter probably is the second biggest day of the year for Christian churches. Here are some facts about it if you are interested: 

The Easter Date

A quick run-down on Jesus' last days on earth: On Sunday (Palm Sunday), he entered Jerusalem to attend the coming Jewish Passover holiday, on Thursday evening, he had the last supper with his disciples, on Friday (Good Friday, Passover Day), he was crucified, and on Sunday (Easter Sunday), he resurrected. 

Accordingly, Easter should be the first Sunday after the Jewish Passover holiday, which is 14 Nisan (the 7th month) in the Jewish calendar. However, this date (Passover) is linked to the spring harvest in Palestine and since the Jews were banished from Palestine by the Romans since their rebellion in AD 135, such date became unobtainable. Therefore, the early Christians figured out the Easter date this way: They reasoned that at the time of the Last Supper, the month Nisan began with the new moon after the spring equinox (春分, the day when the length of the day equals the length of the night), and the 14th day of Nisan is the day of full moon, therefore Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon that follows the spring equinox. 

However, since there was no standard way to calculate the spring equinox, it was still possible for different regions to celebrate Easter on different Sundays. In AD 325, the Council of Nicea ruled that all churches must celebrate Easter on the same day. This clearly implies that they instituted a standard method for calculating the date of the full moon after the spring equinox. As a matter of fact, some believe the mathematical formula we use today to fix the date of Easter came from that decree. 

The Easter Season

Though not observed by most Protestant churches since Reformation (宗教改革), Easter celebration according to Catholic liturgy calendar is much more than a single day event, but a near 100-day long season centering around Easter Sunday: 

* Ash Wednesday is the 46th day, or 40 weekdays, not counting the Sundays, before Easter Sunday. It is to commemorate Jesus' withdrawal into the wilderness for 40 days of spiritual reflection before beginning his ministry. It is called Ash Wednesday because the faithful place ashes on their foreheads as a sign of repentance.

* Ascension Day is the 40th day after Easter Sunday, when Jesus ascended into heaven after spending 40 days with his disciples on earth after his resurrection (Acts 1:3-11). It always falls on Thursday.

* Pentecost Sunday is the 50th day after Easter Sunday; it commemorates the day when the disciples gathering in Jerusalem per Jesus' instruction received Holy Spirit and spoke tongues in foreign languages (Acts 2). It is the birthday of the Church through the Holy Spirit.

Here are the actual dates of this year's Easter events:

Ash Wednesday           Easter Sunday          Ascension Day           Pentecost Sunday
February 25                   April 12                     May 21                        May 31


The Easter Name 

The English word "Easter" came from Anglo-Saxon (Germanic) origin that refers to an ancient goddess whose name is "Ishtar" in Assyrian, or "Astarte" in Babylonian. It is a goddess of spring and fertility and was worshiped in a festival that used rabbits as symbol of fertility and eggs painted with bright colors to represent the sunlight of spring. Easter, then, similar to Christmas, is quite a pagan influenced Christian holiday. Some Christian churches (e.g., Jehovah's Witnesses) actually refuse to celebrate them due to such reason.

Which is quite ironic, considering some contemporary Christians only go to church twice a year, on Christmas and on Easter.

Happy Easter!



* A little church joke for those of you who have patiently completed this Easter 101 class with me:

There were five country churches in a small Texas town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the Methodist Church, the Catholic Church and the Jewish Synagogue. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels .

The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels.

After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the Baptist Church the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as many there the next week.

The Methodist Church got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creations. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

The Catholic Church came up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard about the Jewish Synagogue, but they took one squirrel and had a short service with him called circumcision and they haven't seen a squirrel on the property since.

brothers karamazov

I amazed myself by finishing up reading a 776-page English translation of a literary classic lately: "The Brothers Karamazov" by the Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoevsky (1821-1881). It's a story of crime and passion, murder mystery, court room drama, yet at the same time filled with rich religious and spiritual overtones from beginning till end.  

One interesting little side story mentioned in the book is this:

A wicked woman dies and is thrown into the lake of fire in hell by devils. Her guardian angel tries to think of one good deed of hers to tell God and save her from hell, and recalls that once she pulled up an onion and gave it to a beggar. God answers that the angel should take that same onion and offer it to her. If she takes hold of it and the angel can pull her out with it, she can go to paradise, but if the onion breaks, she must stay in the lake of fire. The angel offers the onion, the woman grabs it and he pulls carefully. Just as she is about to be pulled out completely, the other sinners in the lake hold onto her so as to be pulled out with her. The woman kicks them away, telling them that it is her onion, not theirs. The onion breaks and the woman falls back into the lake, where she remains.

I guess this means we are only as good as our last one good deed (or as bad as our last bad one) then.

One main character of the book, the father of the Karamazov brothers, is a "country buffoon," an obnoxious, ruthless, selfish and stingy old man who got murdered in the middle of the story. Here's some words said by a monastery sage about him:

"The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to such a pass that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love, and in order to occupy and distract himself without love he gives way to passions and coarse pleasures, and sinks to bestiality in his vices, all from continual lying to other men and to himself."

I guess this means keeping a clear and honest head above one's shoulders all the time is quite important.

Lastly,

"My friends, ask gladness from God. Be glad as children, as birds in the sky. And let man's sin not disturb you in your efforts, do not fear that it will dampen your endeavor and keep it from being fulfilled, do not say, 'Sin is strong, impiety is strong, the bad environment is strong, and we are lonely and powerless, the bad environment will dampen us and keep our good endeavor from being fulfilled.' Flee from such despondency, my children! There is only one salvation for you: take yourself up, and make yourself responsible for all the sins of men. For indeed it is so, my friend, and the moment you make yourself sincerely responsible for everything and everyone, you will see at once that it is really so, that it is you who are guilty on behalf of all and for all. Whereas by shifting your own laziness and powerlessness onto others, you will end by sharing in Satan's pride and murmuring against God." 

Sounds so lofty and unreachable?.. yet, not so..

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"Religion may be compared to a glass window. It remains dark unless it is lit from behind. The light itself is not visible, but in the window of religion it takes on a structure and becomes comprehensible to everyone. Although religion often tends to bind its followers to the structures of the window, the ultimate thing is not the window but the light that shines behind it. Only those who see the light of God behind all the structures can realize the meaning and goal of religion."  -- Willigis Jager, Search for the Meaning of Life: Essays and Reflections on the Mystical Experience 

monkeys

A little girl asked her mother: How did the human race appear?

The mother answered: God made Adam and Eve and they had children and so was all mankind made.

Two days later she asks her father the same question. The father answered:

Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race was developed.

The confused girl returns to her mother and says: Mom how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God and Papa says they were developed from monkeys.

The mother answers: Well dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, while your father told you about his side…

See you monkeys Saturday :-)

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"What can we know? What are we all? Poor silly half-brained things peering out at the infinite, with the aspirations of angels and the instincts of beasts." -- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Stark Munro Letters