Friday, April 18, 2014

cool

I don't know if the Oxford Dictionary or Encyclopedia Britannica keeps a category for the "chic-est" words used in the world for the day. If they do, I think "cool" should be right up there. 

Say, 

You wear a new suit to a party, and people compliment you: "Cool outfit!"

You talk arrangement or business with a friend or partner, and to consummate the deal, you say "Are you cool with it?"

You give a fancy new toy to your kid, his/her eyes round up, mouth opens wide, and cheers out "Cool!", and you are the coolest dad in the world at that moment!

Just like a group of children, we expect our leaders to be cool, level headed, like they knew what they were doing all the time, so we feel secure. Witness General Haig's quivering "I am in control" statement right after President Reagan's failed assassination, or compare Richard Nixon's nervous appearance vs John Kennedy's calm demeanor during the presidential debate, and their political outcomes, you'll understand that the appearance of uncool can be detrimental to a politician's public life, just like some say the appearance of stupidity, more than stupidity itself, can hamper one's career advancement in the corporate world.

At the risk of seeming politically uncool, I'll say in general men are more cool than women. How else to explain that we always look for "the coolest man in Hollywood," (George Clooney, for that matter, for now, perhaps) but no woman in that category. (Instead, we have the "hottest woman" category we like to focus on). The flip side of this is jerks are always men, none woman.

One easy way to achieve coolness is to put oneself in a neutral position, like a TV anchorman/woman, for example, posing questions to their interviewees, jarring or intriguing as they might be, they are all asked on the audience's behalf, so he/she can stay above the fray and watch--as we audience do--their interviewees squirm and turn in their answering.

But once in a while, an interviewee might fire back an edgy jab towards the interviewer themselves, unexpectedly, then you might see that anchorman/woman get visibly disturbed, become defensive, and lose that professional calm air they've been wearing. It's not cool any more when things get personal, is it?

Probably because coolness is such looked-upon quality in our society, many try to fake it, or "play cool", even when they don't have it. Or they at least try to play it passively, to hide their uncoolness by following that "Never let them see you sweat" motto. Coolness over-or-mis-played can become downright cold-heartedness, or deranged mental cases like those zombie-like killers we see in many of Hollywood's violent movies. 

Like meekness that comes from reined-in strength, I think true coolness comes from a very warm heart, that can still cry and empathize, but with great wisdom and wit, humor and humility, that combined so enchants us we want to be surrounded by it, or by that person rather, all day long.

There was a guy born a couple thousand years ago, who didn't go with the "in" crowd, cried for the death of his friend, took all things personally, and sweated profusely in his last petition to his father God for life. Yet his magic brings life and hope to all people ever since. That's a very cool guy in my book.

Happy Easter!

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