Q: What will happen if the DOW average falls any further?
A: They'll add an N to the end of it!
Q: What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall?
A: "Dam."
Q: What do prisoners use to call each other?
A: Cell phones.
Q: What do you get from a pampered cow?
A: Spoiled milk.
Q: What do you call twin policemen?
A: Copies.
A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."
Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive!"
If Olivia Newton John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton John-Newton John.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. (Arby traitor)
Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. (Counter fitters)
Heroes: What a guy in a canoe does. (He rows)
Now it's Chinese word play time:
「夫」對「天」說：「我總算盼到了出頭之日！」
「熊」對「能」說：「怎麼著窮成這樣啦？四個熊掌全賣了！」
「丙」對「兩」說：「你家什麼時候多了一個人，結婚了？」
「乒」對「乓」說：「你我都一樣，一等殘廢軍人。」
「兵」對「丘」說：「兄弟，踩上地雷了吧，兩腿咋都沒了？」
「王」對「皇」說：「當皇上有什麽好處？你看，頭髮都白了！」
「口」對「回」說：「親愛的，都懷孕這麽久了，也不說一聲！」
「也」對「她」說：﹕「當老闆了？出門還帶秘書！」
「日」對「旦」說：「你什麼時候學會玩滑板了？」
「果」對「裸」說：「哥們兒，你穿上衣服還不如不穿！」
「由」對「甲」說：「你什麼時候學會倒立了？」
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's. (Arby traitor)
Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets. (Counter fitters)
Heroes: What a guy in a canoe does. (He rows)
Now it's Chinese word play time:
「夫」對「天」說：「我總算盼到了出頭之日！」
「熊」對「能」說：「怎麼著窮成這樣啦？四個熊掌全賣了！」
「丙」對「兩」說：「你家什麼時候多了一個人，結婚了？」
「乒」對「乓」說：「你我都一樣，一等殘廢軍人。」
「兵」對「丘」說：「兄弟，踩上地雷了吧，兩腿咋都沒了？」
「王」對「皇」說：「當皇上有什麽好處？你看，頭髮都白了！」
「口」對「回」說：「親愛的，都懷孕這麽久了，也不說一聲！」
「也」對「她」說：﹕「當老闆了？出門還帶秘書！」
「日」對「旦」說：「你什麼時候學會玩滑板了？」
「果」對「裸」說：「哥們兒，你穿上衣服還不如不穿！」
「由」對「甲」說：「你什麼時候學會倒立了？」
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