good routines

The other evening, on our way home from a dinner party in a ride share with some friends, the topic of "empty nest" was casually lipped upon. Light-heartedly we congratulated one lady who's kids are all going to colleges this year that she's going to have time to take care of her dear old husband again. "Actually, I am not much worried about that job," she said, "than about taking care of his mother"--who has been living with them for the past 10 years or so. We were a bit surprised to hear that, because as far as we can recall, her mother-in-law had been in pretty good physical shape and mentally agile. But, that was years ago when we last saw her. For the past few years, she said, her mother-in-law has been living a self-confining life within their home. She seldom comes out of her room, lying on bed most of the time. She has no social life, no hobbies, does not even watch TV. She's still physically sound, but there seems no joy or purpose in her living. She's just biting time, till the end, it seems.

The pictures of my father-in-law came to my mind (and I am sure to my wife's too). He had been an active man during his career as a utility company manager and even after he retired. Yet in the past two years, especially during our recent trip home last December, we found him physically and mentally retreating fast. He's staying in his room more and more, insisting on his ways more and more, in addition to the physical difficulties that hamper his movement.

I feel sad for both cases and desire to do something for them next time I can (spending more time with my father-in-law, as my wife had scolded me already for not doing enough in our last trip there, is certainly one thing I'll do). What alerts me, though, is how quickly and easily we all can fall into such seemingly hopeless trap. My father-in-law had talked about doing some volunteer work after retirement, and we had been urging him to do some simple daily work or physical exercise since many years ago. Yet for some reason he couldn't consistently make those, and the inertia set in, till he became physically and mentally incapable.

Our body deteriorates every day--life is like morning mist that disappears, said the Bible, and that by itself is nothing to be dreaded about. What would be dreadful and sad to me is to let the physical-mental degradation drag my spiritual keenness down, or more subtly, fill my life with "garbage routines"--even at a relatively young age of 50, I feel I am more apt to stay put with my daily routines, however it was set up to begin with, than, say, when I was 45.

One way to combat this, I guess, is to set up "good routines" that take away the space of "bad routines", so I win the contest by design and by default.

Meeting you guys every other Saturday morning counts as one "good routine", I think.


"When you have thoughts and ideas that are worthy of credit to God, learn to compare and associate them with all that happens in nature-the rising and the setting of the sun, the shining of the moon and the stars, and the changing of the seasons. You will begin to see that your thoughts are from God as well, and your mind will no longer be at the mercy of your impulsive thinking, but will always be used in service to God."  -- Oswald Chambers