big heart

"All you are thinking about is yourself!"-- these are angry words thrown at me when I was parting with a former business partner of mine. I was flabbergasted to hear him say so, because I thought I had done so much for him and for the partnership, and if anything, I thought he was the one who had been thinking all about himself. Still, these words kept bothering me long after. Have I been thinking all about myself all the time? Am I a selfish person? I keep asking myself. If not, why do these words bother me so much? Over time, I kind of admit I probably am a selfish person, thinking
too much about myself too much of the time. And I don't like that.

Then the other day I met with a guy with whom I went to the same Chinese church a long while back. We were kind of close, and after lunch and some exchanges, he started to complain to me about not being fed spiritually enough in another church he's been attending for over 3 years then left, and that the pastor there never seemed to care about his presence or not. "Not a single phone call from him after I left, after all those 3 long years." he lamented. What a whiner, I thought to myself, not being very Christian like, I admit. But why do you only think about what you need from the pastor, why not think that the pastor may need you too? Eventually, I told him what I thought, in a nice way, of course. I told him my personal experience is "when I went out and tried to help others, I myself got helped," "It's easy to criticize and think bad of others, when you only live in your own virtual world." I was surprised I felt that way and said those words. I heard such complaints from him before, but I didn't have such strong feelings then.

Pastor Rick Warren did a grand review of his ministry last Sunday, as some of you had heard already. As always, his plain talking and genuine passion touched me. "Why do we want to keep growing," he asked. "Because we love Jesus", he said. If it's up to himself, he said he would just build a 300 member congregation and stop there because that's the size he likes best to minister and can get good salary and then retire and play golf twice a week. But this is not about himself, it's God's ministry he is doing. 

Pastor Rick is Pastor Rick because he's great Pastor Rick. But I think what makes him so great is he always has such a big heart for God's business. I pray I have that same heart all the time.