Friday, September 21, 2018

feeling bad

I don't believe people who say they don't care what others think about them. Putting aside that "social gene" anthropologists say enables us to cooperate and out-compete other hominin species, even as a loner creature, entering a strange new environment, one has to detect the friendly and not-so-friendly elements around, in order to fight or flight, act or react... a very basic survival instinct we all must have.

It takes people who deal daily with multitude others, such as politicians, to develop a "thick skin", so to speak, to hide their emotional vulnerability, to perform their jobs, then.

Except when it comes to Mr. Trump, the "alternative politician," who, crass and crude as he seems, is actually a very thin-skinned, normal human being just like you and me.

Our sensitivity to "what would others think" can easily be transformed to feeling of shame if we do something against societal norms that brings embarrassment to ourselves or our family. "Don't be a burden to others," is rule number one Japanese kids are taught first day at school. It's no surprise then theirs is such an orderly and courteous society, and the extraordinarily well behaved soccer fans we saw on TV dutifully cleaning up their seats even after a heart breaking loss of their team at the World Cup games.

Guilt, by some definition, is more intrinsic and individualistic. It's a bad feeling you have when something you do or did not do goes against your personal values... which, again, might very well be culturally nurtured. As the joke goes: "I am a Catholic, I feel guilty about everything."

Is my behavior more guilt driven or shame driven?  

In the community I live, they recently set up stop signs and bumps at some erstwhile free flowing intersections. Many--including myself--hate it, and some actually drive around the bump when they come to it. I felt like doing the same thing, and wouldn't feel guilty about it because I thought these bumps were really stupid boondoggle contraptions (that I'd like to protest about too), but the thought of "what if my neighbors saw me doing this and thought less of me, the law abiding, Model Citizen Wong image all collapsing in one day" stopped me from doing it.


Sin is another bad feeling quite in its own category, and very much a religious one. The old school definition of it sounds like a curse God threw upon human beings since their grand old innocent ancestors made an inexcusable mistake of disobeying His benevolent advice, while modern theologians like to focus on the disposition of human mindset and call it as being "off the mark," "going the wrong direction," thus alleviating the moral connotation of the word.

Spiritually, I think sin just means "inadequacy" of humankind: Our lack of power to love, inability to truly embrace others, self-obsession, small-mindedness ... all the plain facts of who we really are. 

Admitting that, and being drawn towards its opposite (if we feel something is missing, something probably is out there), with no shame or guilt pushing us behind, what a joyful and wonderful ride to eternity would that be!

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"... whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8).  

Monday, September 10, 2018

days of nuke, days of sun

One of my online chat groups’ recent discussion on whether some moth-balled nuclear power plant in Taiwan should be re-activated to alleviate the pollution generated by coal-burning power plants there had me recall the nuclear power plant shutdown that happened years ago near where I live, as well as the proliferation of solar panels deployment going on in my neighborhood in recent years, that I wrote the following to share with them:

前幾天看到大家討論台灣要不要廢核/重新啟動核電的議題,讓我興起念頭想跟大家分享一下我身在南加的一點核電跟綠能的切身體驗,有耐性/興趣的同學請往下看:

我住在南加州介於LA洛杉磯跟San Diego兩個大都會中間的一個靠海小鎮,南邊緊鄰的另一個小城就是當年尼克森總統的“西部白宮”,也是他退休(水門案下台)後幾年住的私人豪宅所在地,叫做San Clemente;再往南一點,沿著海邊,緊鄰San Diego County邊界,就是一個60年代興建的核電廠,叫做San Onofre Nuclear Power Plant:





這個核電廠總共有3個核反應爐,1號反應爐在1968年啟用,1992年拆解,2號反應爐跟3號反應爐分別在1983跟1984年啟用,也分別在2009年及2010年做了可以延長使用年限20年的改裝,卻在2012年出了大紕漏:它們的蒸汽發電機steam generator的合金氣管alloy tubes出現了異常磨損的現象:2號爐先停工進行修護,3號爐則在發生漏水現象後被勒令停工檢修。

美國在地的反核團體(趁此機會)大肆韃伐核電的不安全,管理不善等問題,即便電力公司(Southern California Edison) 花費巨資修護並修改設計,解釋安全無虞,並願削減發電量試行恢復營運等措施,民眾團體還是不斷質疑它的安全性,甚至電力公司主事者事先是否已知危險性超過預估須負刑責,等等,而美國聯邦的核能管理局Nuclear Regulatory Commission也裁決若該核電廠要恢復營運的話,必須重新申請營運執照,因為他們做的修改已經使核電廠跟當初申請營業執照時的設計不符...

最後電力公司經過審慎評估,考量若要恢復核電廠營運所必需做的工事花費,重新審核過程的冗長與不確定性,可能的安全疑慮與訴訟的風險等等,終於在2013年宣布放棄重新啟動該核電廠的計劃,改進行廢置(decommission)該核電廠的動作,就這樣,曾經提供南加大部地區20%能源的核電廠就此停擺。

下面這張是我的一個美國朋友,一位住在San Clemente的退休老師在聽證會上發言反對核電廠復工的新聞照片:



我是在2012年搬入我現在住的全新社區,這幾年來,我的左鄰右舍一家接一家,紛紛在屋頂安裝了太陽能面板。下面這張照片,可以看到除了我(藍點那戶)跟右邊隔壁兩家 (這張Google的衛星照片有點過時,事實上我右邊的右邊那家屋頂也已裝了太陽能面板了)之外,我們那半條街的住家都已經被“綠化”完成了:



當我的鄰居來找我簽他們安裝太陽能面板的同意書(屋頂安裝面板會改變社區景觀,需左鄰右舍同意)時,我會順便問問他們為何有此動機,他們的答覆大致是:電費會越來越貴,以後要考慮買電動車,現在安裝還有聯邦,州政府的獎勵補助等等... 我一直沒有心動要裝的原因則是我們家的電力使用量並不高(人口簡單,住在海邊夏天基本上不用開冷氣...),安裝可能不划算。

但是兩個禮拜前到Costco買東西閒逛時碰到一家長期在裡面擺攤位跟Costco有合作關係的太陽能系統安裝公司,好奇跟他們問了些問題,他們就要了我的電費帳單並跟我約了個時間到我家詳細解釋他們的program跟估價: 基本上我家的電費支出的確不多,所以他給我估計了一個最小的系統(9片面板),需耗費$1萬,扣掉聯邦稅的補助30%($3千),換算成每月電費,相當於每kWh(千瓦小時)$0.09, vs我若不改裝太陽能的話平均電費$0.24/kWh.

https://youtu.be/bG8IOiZNr94



若換算成實際的每月開支,改裝成太陽能系統之後, 未來20年我每個月只要支付$10,到年底時我可能還有$100多的進帳,因為我的太陽能系統若有產生多餘的電力我用不完的話可以倒賣給電力公司



加州的綠能產業從1970年代石油危機開始的沙漠地區到處可見的風力發電風車到最近幾年來的太陽能發電,一直是處於先導的地位。2008年州政府在能源管理,研究單位等建議下,立法規定全州的電力公司能源來源在2020年前必須達到有33%來自再生能源的目標;2015年更進一步要求在2030年前必須達到50%來自再生能源的目標。但形勢比人強,in a good way:據統計加州在2017年全州已經達到33%來自再生能源的目標,而今年2018年三月初的某一天更創下了有49.95%來自再生能源的紀錄!所以不用政府規定,也不用等到2030年,目標就顯而易見已經可以達成。另外以上的數字還都只是統計電力公司的能源使用來源而已,若加上民間自己安裝太陽能面板而製造的再生能源,比例更遠超過上述。

所以事實上州議會最近已經又在立法,要將目標重新改成:2030年達到60%,2045年達到100%所有電力來自再生能源的目標;今年五月更通過法案,規定從2020年起所有新建的房屋都得包含太陽能系統安裝在內:

https://www.npr.org/2018/05/17/612082781/california-to-require-all-new-homes-to-have-solar-panels-starting-in-2020

核電,再生能源,環保等等是個複雜的議題,加州有加州的環境,台灣有台灣的環境,我不認為加州這套做法就比較優越,或搬到台灣就一定可行。只是直覺上,核電/綠能/環保不應該是個政治議題,反倒應該是個以經濟/科技為主的議題。縱觀老美這邊反核/復核,支持綠能的論點幾乎都是以經濟效益,老百姓的荷包數字來作論述:電力公司/主張復核者說若核電廠廢置,會有1100個 good paying jobs 立即消失;反核電人士說電力公司反反覆覆修改維護的花費都會由全體用戶來買單,所以何不趁早廢置省掉這筆費用;隨著科技的進步,太陽能面板的效率增加,採購量增加,售價與安裝的費用直直落,當政府的法規強制要求建設商必須在所有新屋安裝太陽能系統時,大家估計房屋售價大概只會增加$8,000到$12,000,換算成30年的房貸,大約每月只會多$40,但是每月可以省電費 $80,it becomes a no brainer, 實在沒有不做的理由!

我們這邊的電費這一兩個月飛漲,因為電力公司(San Diego Gas & Electric)更嚴格採用了Time of Day計費方式,就是根據使用的時段而有不同的費率,尖端用電費率是低端用電費率的兩倍,說的好聽是鼓勵大家節約用電,或聰明用電,或甚至是變相“壓迫”大家更走向安裝或使用綠能(這就有點政治化了,哈哈)

但我也同時看到電力公司在抱怨/擔心越來越多的客戶安裝太陽能,使他們失去越來越多的收入來源,而配電網路infrastructure的維護卻仍然必須由他們來負擔,到最後也必定會轉嫁到越來越少剩下來仍使用他們傳統電力的(較窮)的客戶上...這也是一種經濟/社會上的不公,又是另一種可能的政治議題了😞

中國大陸事實上是目前世界最大的太陽能源生產國。下面這張照片是山西大同一個太陽能源農場(solar farm)的鳥瞰圖:



兩隻熊貓,俯伏在地,very cute, isn't it!

但是他們的太陽能產能的使用率只有15%不到,一個主要原因是生產地都在人煙稀少的北/西北邊區,傳輸到人煙稠密的使用區時耗損率太高;另外,太陽能面板的生命週期大約30年,所以預計2040年開始會面對大批廢棄的太陽能面板處理,可能的污染問題... 有興趣知道詳情的可看這篇BBC的報導:
http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20180822-why-china-is-transforming-the-worlds-solar-energy

Nuke, solar, environmental, economy, politics... all are complicated issues, hope you've enjoyed the reading!